resources for parents/guardians
our teens are the target
Traffickers target tween and teens. Why? Because they are vulnerable. They haven't become wise to the emotional manipulation tactics of the traffickers. Nor would they suspect a family member. Some people are more at-riskℹ️, but your middle-class suburban teen is not immune.
Did you know...many survivors report being sexually abused as young as 3 years old. Here's a great resource to safeguard children from abuse, or deal with the aftermath, "Your Child, Safe From Secrets."
Our friends at Selah Freedom report many of their survivors were trafficked between ages 11 and 14. They've developed prevention curriculum for all ages starting at kindergarten. They have a very comprehensive set of age-appropriate prevention tools. Start there.
A21.org also has a comprehensive set of awareness and prevention tools. Check them out by clicking the button below.
the digital playground
Where do our tweens and teens spend their free time? Check these stats from Pew et. al. 2024-25. 95% of US teens have a smartphone. 48% say they are online nearly constantly.
Did you know... 67% of traffickers recruit online. They don't stand outside the fence or sit in a car with a bag of candy; they're inside the fence playing the game with our kids!
When you allow your kids to go online, be prepared. This is a BIG decision. Just because everyone else's kids are online "with no restrictions" (just ask any 10 yr-old and they will confirm this) is not an excuse for you to assume any degree of safety exists.
Roblox claims half of all American kids under 16 in their monthly player base. Pedophiles are all over Roblox. See more about Roblox and other risky online platforms below.
The Nat'l Human Trafficking Hotline is a good place to start for online safety. Check out Selah Freedom too for additional links to tools you may find helpful.
It will take time to research and develop a plan. Don't wing it. Be proactive. Start early. And if you've already got a teen who has not been educated, it is never too late to start!
a predator on the playground
Meet 10 yr-old "Emma Dixon," according to his YouTube and Snapchat profile. A registered sex offender on probation for possession of CSAM (Child Sexually Explicit Material), he received 18 years in a federal prison for enticement of a minor.
Did you know...it takes only 30 days from the moment your child first chats with an online groomer until the day your child goes to meet them? According to the CDC, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 13 boys were exposed to child grooming and have experienced some child sexual abuse.
How can you tell if a child is being groomed? Look for shifts in a child's behavior:
- a sudden desire for secrecy
- sudden romantic entanglements
- unusual meme usage
- kys (kill yourself)
- referring to a daddy, uncle or auntie
- using "groomer humor" - joking about sex, porn, groomers, venues like massage parlors, which is a desensitizing tactic. One example on Roblox was in a game chat where a pedophile was called out by his username, another gamer commented, "there goes my groomer."
- animal cruelty or self-harm
- irritability
- withdrawing socially
- a sudden loss of interest in normal life, the internet becomes an obsession.
- having money or gifts that you did not get and that they can’t or won’t explain.
- an understanding of sex that’s not appropriate for their age.
- spending more time away from home or they go missing for periods of time with no explanation.
These are some of the signs. If a child exhibits a few of them, trust your gut, say something. You may have less than 30 days to intervene.
Thecenterforchildprotection.org describes the stages of grooming. If you suspect someone may be grooming a child, familyeducation.com has some details at the link below.
pornography - the gateway drug
We all know about the online porn epidemic. In recent years women are becoming more addicted, though men still make up the majority of consumers.
Did you know...73% of teens have viewed porn?
Traffickers use porn to groom victims. Why?
It desensitizes children to sexual acts, including:
- violent sex, rape and coercion
- women as submissive objects
- normalizing child "actors"
By desensitizing their victims, the child loses resistance when pushed by their trafficker. They are taught this is the behavior that is expected by the trafficker and customers.
The other side of this insidious coin is the real addiction to the dopamine boost, particularly in young men. Eventually, this desire moves off of the screen to seek real life experiences, though twisted and unrealistic. The drive for more extreme experiences leads to paid sex. Thus the cycle of customer and trafficked victim is established.
By the way, many porn actors are trafficked. Check out fightthenewdrug.org for more facts and help.
Gaming and Social Media
Roblox is oft cited by law enforcement as a popular hangout for pedophiles. With such a huge user base, private chats, and zero moderation for inappropriate content, it is bad news if you want to keep your child away from exposure to traffickers.
Did you know...Roblox takes legal action against users who expose predators?
Here are some of the riskier game sites: Minecraft, Fortnite and Discord. Though Discord isn't exactly a game, it's often used as a text and voice chat link across gaming platforms. Groomers enter public game rooms and invite users to move to private chats.
If a social media app has private chat functions, it is a no-go for safety. This includes TikTok, Snapchat and Twitch amongst the more popular platforms. TikTok is particularly insidious. ℹ️ At least kids under 16 can't access the private chat system. It remains to be seen if a change in ownership to a non-Chinese entity will clean any of this up.
As far as chat apps go, any of them with a private chat are problematic. This includes: Telegram, WhatsApp and clones from Omegle (OmeTV, Chatroulette, Tinychat, Chatrandom, Bazoocam) since Omegle was shut down on 2023 due to child safety issues. Add BitChat, a new Jack Dorsey (Twitter founder) creation which bypasses central servers in favor of P2P, which eliminates any possibility of content moderation.
The red line our kids need to know is to never enter into a private chat with anyone. And yes, you need to have your children's passcodes so you can monitor their activities.
The DoJ offers a comprehensive checklist to help you keep your kids safe. For activating parental controls for specific apps, internetmatters.org is a great resource.
Talking to your kids
If your child has never thrown a tantrum over access to their phone or the internet, please write a book. Even the best parents will run into conflicts. Kids need boundaries. Parents need to set and manage wise boundaries.
Did you know...1 in 10 kids will be sexually abused before they turn 18? That means 2-3 kids in each classroom have been abused. Your kids will have conversations about it. Equip them. Equip yourself.
Selah Freedom's page for parents is a great start. They have a few valuable links worth your time: tiffanysjohnson.com, joinonelove.org and loveisrespect.org. Start with these, and you'll be far ahead of most parents/guardians. You may find this article in Fortune.com helps, particularly as your kids grow and mature.
You have a gargantuan task, so don't procrastinate. Today's sexual abuse rate of our kids is a huge risk factor for trafficking. Have conversations often. Don't put off the difficult ones. Your kids need to know they are safe with you, safe to discuss anything. Learn how to respond appropriately, and you will have adult children who respect and admire you for helping them through this crazy world they've been born into. Remember this when your teenager yell at you, "You're the worst parent in the world!" Pray. Seek wisdom. Stay strong.